


Perils (and Benefits) of Poaching

by Erikthonius



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, reference to male genetalia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erikthonius/pseuds/Erikthonius
Summary: Trying to come between the CHB gay power couple is not without consequences, both good and bad





	Perils (and Benefits) of Poaching

**Author's Note:**

> Respectfully dedicated to makerofaqueen and Rosyredlipstick who introduced me to my second favorite couple at Camp Half Blood. This is set about midway between "The Blood of Olympus" and "The Hidden Oracle."

It was a calm day at Camp Half Blood. In addition to the weather, which was always perfect, the camp had fully recovered, both from the recent Giants’ War and the non-stop partying that the visitors from Camp Jupiter had inflicted on them. There were currently no monsters at the borders, half the Hephaestus cabin hadn’t been carried off to the infirmary on stretchers after one of the cabin’s “projects” had exploded or caught fire, no-one was trying to inflict bodily harm on anyone from Hermes after a prank, just a calm day at Camp Half Blood. Will and Nico decided to take advantage of the break in their responsibilities by just enjoying some time together. They sat on the ground, half leaning against a tree, half leaning against each other, chatting with Lou Ellen and Cecil. Nico was still very skittish about others seeing him so intimate with Will, but those two were Will’s best friends and didn’t seem to make a fuss about the two boys’ relationship.

The calm was disrupted when two very pretty girls came toward them. Nico pulled back sharply, but the taller of the two girls, Piper, smirked and murmured, “Don’t get up on our account.”

The younger girl, Lacy, seemed more excited. “Will, Nico, I’ve been looking for you. I wanted to tell you, you’re shoo-ins for the Aphrodite cabin Cutest Couple of the Year award.”

Nico’s jaw dropped, his face reddened, and he began stammering, but whether he was trying to speak English, Italian, ancient Greek, or some weird extraterrestrial language, nobody could tell from the random syllables coming out of his mouth. Piper began to giggle, as Lacy continued, “You were almost the unanimous choice. There were only two dissenting votes. Drew was opposed.”

Piper interrupted, “I’m sure that’s because she has her eye on Will for herself. That girl has a taste for blonds, especially unavailable blonds.”

Nico muttered something about “...Damn right he’s unavailable…”

Will quickly put in with a shudder, “No, just no. First of all, it’s Drew, the queen b...:”

“Don’t say it, we all know it.” interjected Piper.

Will went on, “Second, and no offense, but girls, yuck.”

“None taken, Will, honey, everyone knows you’re as gay as Christmas.” was Lou Ellen’s response.

“And third…” Will began, only to be interrupted by a laughing chorus of “SHE’S NOT NICO!!” from the rest of the crowd, save the poor Italian, still blushing, although his lips curled up in a rather pleased smile.

“By the way,” asked Cecil. “Who was the other hater?”

“Oh that was Mitchell.” responded Lacy casually. “He’s got kind of a crush on Nico.”

This elicited even more blushing from Nico and a sour look from Apollo’s son.

“Will, sweetie, that scowl doesn’t do a thing for you.” Lou Ellen chimed in.

“This explains why Mitchell’s been experimenting with a kind of emo look lately.” Piper said, musingly. “Poor kid can’t pull it off, though. And I guess that’s why he’s been spending more time with Drew. They’re doubtless plotting to break you two up. In Drew’s case, I’m looking forward to seeing that fail miserably, but I feel a little sorry for Mitchell.”

“Wait, wait, Mitchell’s gay?” asked Nico. “And what are you laughing about, Cecil?”

“Well,” responded the son of Hermes, “for starters, how could you not know that Mitchell is gay? Honestly, he’s got more rainbow to him than the entire Iris cabin. But more than that, this also explains why Connor has been giving our boy Nico the stink eye. He’s been pining for Mitchell for a while now.”

“What? Conner’s gay too?” asked Nico, looking more shocked.

“Actually,” Cecil replied, “technically speaking, Connor is bi, but definitely way more into guys than girls. He’s not too public about it, says that he prefers an air of mystery about him (like he’s fooling anybody).” Seeing the perplexed look on Nico’s face, he chided his friend, “What, did you think you and Will were the only gay demigods in town? Will, my man, has the Apollo cabin neglected to give this poor lad the TALK?”

Will shook his head. “Sorry, Nico wasn’t around much when he was 13, and by the time he was around, I was head counsellor. Dude, kind of awkward for me to give the TALK to him, either as the guy I was crushing on so bad I could barely speak to, or as my boyfriend, dontcha think?”

Nico burst in, “What is this TALK?!?”

Cecil chuckled and said, “Allow me to give a more informal version, since your underworld hotness has turned the son of the god of poetry into a blithering idiot. Anyway, in the mortal world, straights are supposedly the vast majority, and heteronormativity is the order of the day, but among demigods, we’ve got your Ls we’ve got your Gs, we’ve got your Bs, your, Ts, your Is, your Qs, your As, oh honey, we’ve got letters they haven’t even invented yet. Out there, straight is about 90% of the population, but here in Camp Half Blood, it’s probably barely 60%. I think Malcolm is compiling a study on it. I know that when he polled Hermes, most of us identified on one side or the other of bi. For myself, I prefer the ladies,” with that he winked at Lou Ellen, who stuck out her tongue at him, “but if a certain Hephaestus camper whose name rhymes with “make Jason” is willing…”

Will chimed in, “Yeah, in Apollo, I’m the oddball, not because I’m gay, but because I’m not bi.”

Lou Ellen added with pride, “Hecate cabin is the non-binary capital of Camp Half-Blood, and I hear that the Trivia legacies at Camp Jupiter are keeping up with us.”

“This is all fascinating,” interrupted Piper, “but I’d like to break up this little Drew-Mitchell plot before someone goes too far.”

“Yeah,” Cecil agreed. “Conner’s been making some noises about pranking Nico out of some misguided jealousy. I talked him out of it, I don’t want skeletons parading through our cabin some night...”

“Smart move,” muttered Nico.

Cecil stood up and continued, “I have an idea. Lacy, Lou Ellen, come with me.”

Piper shook her head, and Will stood up, taking his boyfriend by the arm. “Let’s just walk away from this.”

===================

Lacy burst into the Aphrodite cabin with a smirk on her face. “Ooh, who’s the jealous bitch now…” she sang out.

“Spill,” said one of her younger cabin-mates. No-one in that cabin could resist good gossip.

“Well,” said Lacy in a more conspiratorial voice (although looking around to make sure Drew was close enough to overhear.) “I saw Nico talking to Percy Jackson, and then Percy, well you know how friendly he is, he put a hand on Nico’s shoulder. The next thing I saw, Will came running up, and pulled Nico away, Then, as they were walking away, I heard Will tell Nico that if Percy didn’t keep his hands to himself, he’d saw them off and put them back on backward. Of course, Nico didn’t look too pleased at that. Wow, if just a friendly touch could get him so mad, I can’t imagine what would happen if…” and she just sort of trailed off.

“Mitchell, get your pretty little boy-butt over here!” Drew hissed out. “I have an idea that might get us both a little of what we want. I need you to run a little errand to the Hecate cabin.”

Lacy grinned briefly and then headed over to the Hermes cabin to inform Cecil that step one had worked like a charm.

===================

The son of Aphrodite knocked on the door of the Hecate cabin with some trepidation. The triple goddess’s children had some powerful magic, and they could do serious harm to you if they wanted. Still, Drew’s plan seemed good, and Aphrodite’s children, even those who couldn’t charmspeak, were good at persuading others. Lou Ellen answered the door.

“Hi, Mitchell, what can I do for you?” she asked with a (feigned) air of innocence.

“Um, I don’t know if you heard, but we’re giving the “Cutest Couple” award to Will and Nico. Of course, you can’t tell them, it will be a surprise, but we were planning on, you know, as a joke, having the presenters look like them when we give them the award.”

“You Aphrodite campers have a weird sense of humor.”

“Well, whatever. Anyway, Piper has a glamour that Hazel made to make her look like Will, but I was wondering if I could get one from you that would make me look like Nico.” As he said it, the boy threw what persuasion he could into the words.

“Oh piglets,” thought Lou Ellen. “This is too easy.” Out loud, she said, “Okay, but I can’t cook up a really solid glamour on such short notice. I’ll be able to change your physical appearance, but clothes are harder. Probably best if you don’t wear clothes.”

“What?!” shrieked Mitchell, blushing.

“Damn, he’s cute when he blushes,” thought the girl. “If I were into boys, I could go for him.” Once again finding her voice, she said, “Oh, don’t worry, the glamor provides an outfit as well. You could get away with boxers…”

“Puh-lease, boxer briefs,” interrupted the son of Aphrodite

“Yeah, whatever. The only thing is, the glamour needs a focus.”

“And that would be?”

“Anything belonging to Nico. Another thing, it has to be stolen.”

“Why does it have to be stolen? How am I going to steal something from Nico?”

Lou Ellen sighed heavily. “I don’t make the magic rules, I just obey them. And you don’t have to steal it yourself. If I were you, I’d get someone from Hermes to do it. By the way, the glamour won’t work on whoever steals the focus for you. Just sayin’...”

“Thanks, Lou Ellen. The boys are going to love this little surprise addition to their award.” Mitchell said as he walked off toward the Hermes cabin.

=================

In his own cabin, Connor was moping. “I just wish I could show him how I felt about him,” he sighed. 

Cecil came up to his head counsellor. “You know, bro, if you want to catch the eye of your heart’s desire, why not do it the traditional Hermes way?”

Connor perked up. “You mean pranking?”

Cecil grinned and responded, “As if you had to ask. Hey, look how well your brother did with Katie after you guys put all those Easter bunnies on the roof of the Demeter cabin.”

“Tell me more,” Connor said eagerly.

“Well, I’ve been working on this project that involves disrupting the efforts of a certain son of Aphrodite trying to get the attentions of a certain son of Hades.” said Cecil with a false air of mystery.

“I’m in,” Connor responded a little too eagerly.

In a few moments, there was a knock at their cabin door. Cecil instructed his cabin mates to withdraw so that it appeared that Connor was alone.

“Mitchell, what can I do for you?” the senior Hermes camper asked a little too brightly.

The pretty youth responded, a little shyly, “I need someone to steal something from the Hades cabin.”

“Well, since it is Hades’ cabin, and Nico can be a bit, shall we say, touchy,” said Connor, coyly, “I think I’d best do it myself. Don’t want to put any of my younger siblings at risk, after all. What do you need, ahh, borrowed?”

Mitchell thought for a moment. “Something small of NIco’s. A coin would probably do the trick.”

“I’m on it.” the taller youth smirked, thinking that’s not the only thing he wanted to be on, and then sauntered off toward Cabin 13.

After checking to see that the son of Hades was at the infirmary (“Up to some canoodling” he thought a bit uncharitably, if accurately), the lanky Hermes camper slipped into Cabin 13 and made for the dresser, but not the one on the more used side of the room. He found a few coins on the top of the dresser and selected one, a small denarius. “Perfect,” he thought, and dropped it into his pocket before stealthily gliding out into the sunlight.

 

========================

Back at the Aphrodite cabin:

“Did you get it? What do I owe you?” asked Mitchell.

“Mission accomplished, I’ll get back to you about the pricing for this little job,” was Connor’s casual response as he handed the silver coin over, although he had some less than chaste thoughts about his preferred payment.

Mitchell was too busy worrying about the dangers of being in debt to a Hermes camper to notice how Connor’s fingers lingered on his as the coin was passed or that the thief’s usual smirk was replaced by a different sort of grin as he loped back to his own cabin.

======================

Mitchell strolled back from the Hecate cabin with the enchanted coin in a small bag in his pocket. Lou Ellen’s instructions were clear: the glamour would take effect as soon as his bare skin touched the coin, and it would give him the appearance of the last legitimate holder of the coin. Why he had to be in his underwear was a little unclear, but the child of Hecate had started to go into a complicated technical explanation about synthetic fabrics interfering with certain dark charms, at which point, Mitchell’s eyes started to glaze over, so he thanked her and headed back to his own cabin.

Drew greeted him at the door with her usual fake smile. “Did you get it? Good. You know what to do, right? I’ll stall Di Angelo, and you stir up his hot boyfriend. We’ll see how long this ‘cutest couple’ can last when Aphrodite’s finest put their minds to it.”

=====================

Mitchell felt a little odd walking into the dining area wearing nothing but his underwear, but his confidence was restored when he passed Lou Ellen, and she whispered, “Totally rocking that child of the Underworld look, girlfriend.” With his confidence buoyed, he strode past the tables, trying to keep his face in the characteristic scowl that Nico had perfected. He only paused briefly when he heard a lone snicker from the serving line. “Schist!” He’d forgotten that Connor could see through the glamour. Ah well, the kid was probably asexual; he’d never heard that the head of the Hermes cabin had ever even had a date. He slowed his steps as he went past table Seven, not stopping, but making sure that Solace had noticed his entrance. Sure enough, the healer looked up at him with a startled expression as he strode past the Apollo table. Mitchell continued to table Three and called out in a low, sensual voice, “Hey Percy.”

The son of Poseidon looked at him with an expression that started as surprise, but turned to shock as Mitchell grabbed him and kissed him passionately, trying to grind against him.

The green-eyed youth pushed him back, and said, “Um, Hazel, what are you doing?!”

Mitchell jumped back, startled, and then noticed his own reflection in one of the shields decorating the dining area. He let out a muffled shriek as he realized that he did indeed look like a child of the Underworld, but not Nico. The image that stared back at him was Nico’s half sister, Hazel. He stared at the coin in his hand, forcing his dyslexic brain to focus on it. The letters were Latin, not Greek. “Damn that Stoll!” he thought, angrily and threw the coin to the ground, which promptly terminated the glamour, revealing his true form to all, clad only in boxer-briefs (designer, of course).

“Ooh, Power Rangers. Very nice.” Connor’s voice rang out from where he stood in the food line.

===================

Well, Drew’s part of the plan started well enough. “Nico, honey,” she cooed, turning up her charmspeak. “Wait up. I have a few questions, and I’m sure you’d love to answer them for me.”

He could feel the girl’s power pulling on him, and he wanted to figure out how to fight it. Then he thought, “Picture her naked.” A brief, almost undetectable shudder ran through him, and he felt the compulsion to comply vanish. He thought, “Who knew? Being gay actually had some perks,” but he decided to play along, as Cecil had filled him in on the counterplot that he and Lou Ellen were hatching. “Ask away,” he replied, with a false dullness in his voice, as if he were actually under the girl’s power.

“It’s for an upcoming segment on Hephaestus cable news” Drew began. “Any thoughts on a certain rumored Poseidon cabin-Athena cabin wedding in the offing? Rumor has it that you might have had some designs on one of the parties.”

“Really,” thought Nico, “this girl is just asking for a smiting.” He looked down at his feet, feigning embarrassment and mumbled something vague about wishing his friends every possible happiness.

“Next question: any remarks about rumors of a certain son of Hephaestus coming back from the Underworld? People are saying that security on escapees is still kind of lax.”

Nico thought back to all they’d been through to reclose the Doors of Death, and he briefly began to redden. “My father’s team has been doing a fine job of keeping the borders secure,” he said stiffly.

Drew smirked to herself and thought, “This kid is too easy to wind up. Just a few more minutes of this, and he’ll stomp off to his cabin in a hissy fit.” Out loud she said, “A question or two about a certain head of the camp infirmary you’ve been seen with, There are a few rumors about his past…” Nico’s face grew even paler than usual, and she thought, “Gotcha, creepy little goth boy!” but whatever insinuating question she was going to ask in her sultry, charming voice was replaced by a high pitched, ‘What is that on my back?”

Nico’s frozen scowl was replaced by a face-splitting grin. “Happy to answer that one, Drew, honey,” He said that last word with a savage glee. “Zombie squirrel. There are about twenty more of them coming out of the trees, and I’ve told them to keep you company for the next week. Sorry I couldn’t find any blond ones; I hear you prefer them. Gotta go, my ‘certain head of the camp infirmary’ is waiting for me at lunch.” With that, he ran off toward the dining pavilion while the Aphrodite girl attempted to shoo away two dozen adoring undead rodents.

 

======================

Nico came up to the Apollo table just in time to hear Connor’s ringing cry of “Ooh, Power Rangers. Very nice,” which doubtless referred to Mitchell’s sole garment. The whole table, no, the whole camp, save Mitchell (and Percy, for some reason), was convulsed with laughter. Kayla, Will’s sister, regained just enough breath to choke out, “Oh gods, Di Angelo, you won’t believe what you just missed.”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me. I hope you’ll also tell me why Jackson is doing his prize-winning goldfish imitation, complete with bulging eyes and flapping lips.”

Mitchell’s next act, however, put an end to even that brief dialog. His ears (and a good deal more) turned bright red, and he stomped over to Connor Stoll. “This is your fault, you butt-munch! Let’s see what kind of boxers you’re wearing.” With that he pulled Connor’s shorts to the floor and put his foot on them so that the son of Hermes couldn’t retrieve his pants.

There were two problems. First, Connor should not have been taking advantage of the fact that he was immune to the glamour. While the rest of the crowd was thinking “How did Hazel get here from Camp Jupiter, and why is she heading toward Percy Jackson?” he’d been thinking what a fine (and yes, munchable) butt the son of Aphrodite had, His own teenaged body’s reaction to those sights and thoughts was made worse by his second problem. He’d really picked the wrong day to go commando. As Mitchell stood up from pantsing the other boy, he could not help noticing the rather prominent bit of engorged anatomy as it brushed against his bare chest.

The raucous laughter seemed to double in volume. Connor turned even redder than Mitchell had, and, extricating himself from the shorts Mitchell still had pinned under his foot, the son of Hermes ran out of the pavilion with a speed that would have made his father proud, but not before hearing his own brother, that traitorous Cecil call out, “That’s one way to show him how you feel about him, bro.”

“Oh gods!” murmured Mitchell, and ran off after the embarrassed Stoll. As he left the pavilion, he could swear he heard his Olympian mother’s voice in his head, saying, “Go get him, son.”

================

Mitchell found the son of Hermes sitting on the canoe dock with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped over his head. He seemed to be shaking. Was he crying?

“Um, Connor…,” the pretty camper began quietly. Not knowing what else to say, he offered, “I, uh, brought you, uh, your pants. I, uh, thought you might, uh kind of want them back.”

The brown-haired youth looked back at him with red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks. “Oh gods, Mitch, I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know what to say.” He put his head back down and looked like he was going to start to cry again.

Mitchell looked down at his friend and said, “I happened to hear something from your brother about, um, how you feel about me Was he by any chance being at all serious?”

Connor didn’t look up, but nodded.

“That’s actually kind of flattering.” He stroked Connor’s hair, which made the boy look up. Taking the boy’s chin in his hand, Mitchell looked him in the eye said, “You mentioned something about the fee for a little job. Why don’t you come with me, and I’ll show you how the Aphrodite cabin settles its debts?”

Connor did not need any more invitation than that. He sprang to his feet and followed after the other boy, his more usual grin returning to his features.

=======================

As they left the lunch tables, Will Solace called out to his friend. “Nice job, Cecil. I guess that takes care of Mitchell. I gotta ask, though, just out of medical curiosity. Are all sons of Hermes that...impressive?” That earned him a smack on the back of his head from his scowling boyfriend and a smug grin from his other friend.

“Not a one to brag, but…” was Cecil’s proud reply. “Hey, Nico, how did your end of things go? Is Drew sorted out?”

As if on cue, there was a shrieking cry of “Get them off me! Get them off me!” from the distance.

“I’m thinking, Drew has learned what happens when you go after someone else’s boyfriend,” Nico smirked as he drew an arm around Will’s waist.

Cecil replied, “Something tells me Mitchell is going to appreciate that lesson.”


End file.
